Screw Snakes on a Plane, there were snakes in the wattah!

So today was the first day I have ever been down to the river. My parents are the most paranoid people in the world and have heard about all of the drownings and bad stuff about the river that they have never been themselves (despite being over 60 years old). So after telling me how much fun he and his friend had several times and convincing me about how it really isn't that bad my boyfriend finally convinced my paranoid self to go on down to the river. I was scared because of all of the bad things I heard too...shoot, if I'm going out, I want to go out like a soldier....I don't want to have my cause of death to be "drowning at the James" if I'm going out, I'm going out.
First of all, I almost lost my life on this raggedy bridge (this thing was off the chain ya'll). As you walk across this broke down ghetto thing you can hear the wood squeaking underneath your feet, and if you look down in certain spots you can see the rocks down below, probably 100 or more feet below you where the river is slightly dried out. It was scary. Cars, bikers and everything else goes across that bridge. And there were a couple of spots where they patched it up with more wood and a few spots that felt really weak where you feel like you might fall below. I almost cried ya'll because I am so afraid of heights....

So we got to the river and we got in and everything, chilling right....next thing you know my boyfriend is like, there go a turtle...then I look, then we found out that bad boy was a snake! I was out with the quickness! That thing was coming at us so fast and Ms-gg don't play that mess! No sir...we yelled snake and all of the white people around us like "and your point is"...naw I'm good with that....I think I am scarred for life though because who knows how many more are in there or WHAT ELSE is in there. I know it is a river and not the local pool and all sorts of "stuff" is in there, but still though, that was a little too freaky for me.

And the dogs! My white people, please put your damn dogs on a leash! I don't care how nice he is to you, dogs don't like everybody they meet! As if it wasn't bad enough the snake big boyed me out the water, the dog effin big boyed me off the James River...growling and following me around. He just did not like me for no reason. And whoever his owner was was not paying him one bit of attention. I bet he would have been paying attention after I clubbed the sucka in the head with one of those heavy arse rocks! Please white people, be considerate of everybody around you and keep your Ilethimeatoffmygoodchinaandlickmeinthemouth creatures on a leash or keep those nasty things at home! Dog!